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Things I’ve Been Thinking About

June 30, 2009

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Ever  notice that on early black and white episodes of “The Andy Griffith Show”, anyone NOT from Mayberry or neighboring Syler City always spoke as though they had Brooklyn accents?    Even if someone was  visiting from Raleigh,  he always sounded very New Yorkish.    Hhhh’mmm…..refresh my memory:  both Carolinas (before division) rooted for the gray team which represented the states south of the Mason-Dixon line, did they not????

I’ve often wondered about filming in 3-D.   Seriously, how do you give dimension and virtual tactility to film?    Also, I’ve discovered if you watch large screen TV with 3-D glasses on, you can also see a varied form of what you’re viewing in 3-D.   It only works in that which was filmed in color.   B&W don’t cut it.  Try it.   Especially after having a few drinks.

What really makes an airplane fly?  Yeah, I know it’s all about thrust and lift and speed, but those concepts confound me.   I don’t get flight,  especially when I watch the jet engine of a plane all heated up and creating it’s own friction, thus propulsion and I have to marvel at how the damn thing can fly.   God only knows how one of those HUGE military Hercules transports loaded with tons of equipment, jeeps and tanks bound for Iraq, can even roll along the runway, much less take-off and fly.   And think about this:  what really keeps these gigantic sons of bitches in the air?   How can a few big engines, a couple of flaps, a rudder, speed and a pilot defy gravity?

I’ve often questioned how allergens work to affect our bodies in such ways.  Congestion, hives, rashes, gastric distress, swollen body parts and even death in the most severe reactions.   Why can some people eat the hell out of peanuts and others can’t exist being anywhere in the presence of an open bottle or  can?

What purpose to ticks serve?  I mean really.  Do they eat aphids?   Do they create a delightful, human serving coagulant when they bite down?  One that can be harvested and turned into currency among the Inuits?    I think not.   I hate ticks and I hate raisins.  Therefore, ticks are unemployed raisins.   But I like grapes.  I only hate what dehydration does to them.

Cheerleaders.  Now, don’t get thy Hanes in a wad.,   I was a cheerleader in Jr. High and High School, so were my sisters and so was the woman who’s uterus incubated me for the bulk of nine months.    But really, what purpose do these people really serve?   Can a football team win a game without their cheers and screams for “defense”?    Do basketball players actually stop in the seconds before throwing one from downtown  to see if a cheerleader is encouraging him enough to sink it with nuthin’ but net?   Or are they just eye candy for frustrated pervs and sources of envy for the rotund, female Almond Joy addict?    

I liked being a cheerleader because it required even more people to look at me and know my name.   But  being popular often lends itself to being even more disliked.   So, the question beckons –  cheerleaders:  generators  of spirit OR wanton exhibitionists???      

YOU DECIDE

cheer1…………cheer2

cheer3

Yeah.  Thought so.

I mentioned gravity earlier when extolling my ignorance with flight. Just for a second, try wrapping your head around gravity.  As w discussed, planes defy it, buildings defy it…gymnasts, too but countries  and continents also spit in its face.  

Go get a globe.  I’ll wait.   

(Insert  ‘Jeopardy  ‘theme….)

What? 

OK then, look at a photo of one.   Look at the South Pole and explain that to me.  Explain how  people walk upright while traipsing around on the ice  down there?   Then, go up north a bit and take a gander at the southern most tip of  Chile:    Tierra del Fuego.    It’s more down under than Australia, yet people are fine.    They drive, walk, fly…they live perfectly good lives, save for the occasional junta driven coup d’tat.

And finally, what about prayer?   It’s a global activity.  We all do it in varied forms; sometimes it’s called wishing.  Even so, can we look around us and believe without a doubt,  it works?  Is there always a catch involved?   Joy and jubilation for those who believe prayers are answered;  defeat and suffering for those with reason to believe their divine petitions were never even heard?

Ecclisiastics will tell you that all prayers are answered.

Believe it or not, the images below are all examples of answered prayers.

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prayer 1

prayer4

prayer3

prayer9 wedding

prayer2

prayer5

soldier funeral

 

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prayer 7 man-holding-money

So, does prayer (in its simplest definition) work?

I suppose that depends on what you pray for.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. June 30, 2009 7:34 pm

    South Poll? Is it surrounded by Obama-Hope-N-Change thugs or penguins?

  2. mklasing permalink
    July 1, 2009 2:06 pm

    The purpose of cheerleaders is simple–they give all of the guys in the stands (the non-athletes) hope that maybe, just maybe those beautiful girls are actually purposely smiling and kicking and exhibiting just for them. Hope is dashed when at the end of the game the quarterback comes up and grabs her away. But during the game–hope remains.

    Wait a minute–am I projecting and/or confessing again? Damnit.

  3. Blanche permalink
    July 1, 2009 2:36 pm

    We certainly didn’t look like that. Course, I’m talking about the late 60s when I was a cheerleader. We were still considered little girls.

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