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July 10, 2009


I’m not a fan of tattoos.  Sorry, but I’m not. 

And this dislike hasn’t been something that Father Time has bestowed upon me, either.   No, my friends,  my unpleasant thoughts regarding tattoos goes Way back before  my boobs started heading south toward Tierra del Fuego.

As for why I don’t like them, well, I suppose that’s because back when I  was a post-pubescent sapling, Hippies were in and all of my contemporaries wanted to be them, but it was hard to be a real acid-dropping, anti-war “Let’s burn the ROTC building” freak, so every guy I knew had long hair and so did the chicks.    Long, straight hair parted down the middle.  

I recently looked at my high school yearbook from 1975 and laughed out loud when I saw all these Vidal Sassoon clones.    poodleThe guys just let their hair grow out in any old way, sans  rhyme or reason.  Depending on the cut from which they grew their hair, their do’s were often  misshapen,  short in some places and very curly in others.  We’re talking extremely patchy spots of hair. kids.    It gave some of the guys the appearance of a show groomed Standard Poodle.

The girls were more consciencious about their hair style (or lack thereof in 1975).  We  trimmed our split ends.  And for the maverick short haired girls who spat in the face of long-haired convention, they bought assloads of Short and Sassy Shampoo because that cute Olympic Gold Medalist, Dorothy Hamill (the ice skater) hawked it.   But really when you think about it, why bother marketing a shampoo specifically for short hair?   Does the shampoo “know” the hair it’s cleaning is short??

My point here is that today’s illustrated people who strive to be different by turning their entire bodies into a tattoo canvas, end up being just like everyone else;  just like the Hippies and the wannabes more than four decades ago.   I guess you could even take that back further and lump Bobby Socksers, Zoot Suiters, and 1920’s ear Flappers into the mix as well.   We as human, have some sociological need to be a part of the whole, as it were.   I guess we’re all born with an innate sense of community.   

 But the difference is,  you can always change your clothing style and you can always cut your hair,  but  a tattoo is forever and when you grow up and realize that that huge pot smoking butterfly that now spans your shoulder blades;  the very one that was so hip and cool 18 years earlier, now looks kind of odd when you hand the restaurant cashier your AARP card.

And yes, I know there’s lazer removal and other things that claim to de-art your body, but let’s be honest here, you can remove the color but there’s always a scar.    

If you’ve got a tattoo(s), fine.  Live and let live.   I’m trying very hard not to judge here and you may be (and you might always be) quite content with all your tattoos until the day you die.  Bitchin’ for you, but I’ve known several people (mostly women) who  pass a certain age find the experience of getting a tattoo most regrettable.  So again, this is just my opinion; something  that’s only relevant to me and yes, of you must know, I too was a style lemming back in the day.  I tried to mock whatever style graced the cover  of  Ingenue magazine and the way the kid dancers dressed on  American Bandstand.  

And perhaps one could say that by virtue of the purse I carry and the sunglasses I wear, I still am a follower, but the good news is that I will never have to be surgically detached from either.

OK, now that I’ve spilled my thoughts on tattoos, my sister sent me these photos.   The guy has an interesting calf tattoo and wanted to give the image more texture, a 3-D like depth and let’s be honest, a pair of 38 DD’s.


tatts 2

tatts 3

tatts 4


11 Comments leave one →
  1. Blanche permalink
    July 11, 2009 11:43 am

    What in the world was used to “blow up” the boobs?

  2. July 11, 2009 12:02 pm

    Considering it was a tattoo on his “calf”, perhaps he used udders.


  3. July 11, 2009 1:19 pm

    The girl tattooed on this idiots leg is in extra super-double urgent need of a bikini wax.

  4. July 11, 2009 1:58 pm

    And she’s got those long, nasty pubes so sparse, you’d think you were looking at elephant hair.


  5. Blanche permalink
    July 11, 2009 4:34 pm

    The thong and the “over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder wasn’t needed. Didn’t cover up much.

  6. July 11, 2009 6:12 pm

    I don’t think that double barrel slingshot was actually meant to cover up anything anyway.

  7. July 11, 2009 8:36 pm

    I have little of value to add here, except to say I’m glad I’m not the only one on the “tatoos-ain’t-for-me” bandwagon. I was beginning to thing it was a going to be a long, solitary ride.

  8. July 12, 2009 12:25 pm

    I do love my tattoos, but I can’t imagine how having protuding knockers on your leg would end up being anything other than an inconvenience after all twenty people in your extended network of friends and acquaintances have given their lifestyle-mandatory accolades. Seriously, what if you gash your leg somehow?

    I’m laughing at the leg/gash reference, Em. Very funny.


  9. chrisitne permalink
    July 12, 2009 1:23 pm

    Oh my, he won’t have to go far to feel boobs, he-he-he! I agree I’m not into tatoos, sorry but, they are not nice on a woman, again sorry to all the others that sport them.

  10. Blanche permalink
    July 12, 2009 8:49 pm

    Non of my business why people want to desecrate their own bodies. I have an opinion about it but I won’t let loose on Laurie’s blog. No way!!!!! Too many people reading this.

  11. July 12, 2009 10:05 pm

    A confession: I am not into big boobs and I don’t have a single tattoo.

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